Observing this image made me think that the bride got stood up and her groom never showed up to the wedding not even to give her an explanation. This photograph generated this reflection because the bride looks extremely gloomy and her expression is blank, without emotion. Her expression to me means that she's shocked beyond believe because she can't accept that the man she loves didn't marry her. She's does not care anymore because her hair is ruined and the flowers she's holding are all dried up. These two elements portray that she's devastated, sad, miserable and hollow. Just like the flowers she's also dry inside and destroyed like her hair. Any woman that loses the man she loves feels destroyed inside because she feels lost without her soul mate, friend, and companion. It's not easy to lose such an important part of your life, it's almost as if your whole life shatters right before your eyes for a moment. Of course, that as time goes on you'll move on but for that moment you will feel like not existing until the unbearable feeling goes away. Memories of the person you adore won’t disappear over night or in couple of days but eventually you‘ll think less of him. I think she definitely feels lonely, and one way that the photograph shows this is that there is no one in the background only places and things, but no people. It seems that she's completely alone in her pain and there is no one there to support her.
I took the tuna out of the pantry. Before eating it I looked at the nutrition facts, it was a habit I had developed. I learned that tuna only has sixty calories which was perfect for my diet. Sometimes I eat tuna and other times I eat bagel sandwiches. Every day, usually at noon, I woke up to eat either of these two "meals," as I called them. Tuna is bland and inconveniently has no flavor to it, but I attempted to give it a better taste by adding lemon, salt and combining it with crackers. A bagel sandwich consisted of one slice of American cheese, a slice of ham and some hot sauce called "Tapatio." At times I would also add egg to it. I got addicted to these sandwiches, but felt guilty every time I eat one because a bagel sandwich has more calories and plenty of more fat than tuna does. When I eat tuna I felt good inside because I knew I had made a healthy choice because it only had 0.5 grams of fat in it. Encountering incidents similar to this one were crucial in the manipulative behavior I had developed.
I slowly began to fall into more dangerous eating habits similar to reading nutrition facts of everything I eat. Every day that I awoke from my sleep, usually around 11:00 am, I chose between a bagel sandwich or tuna. It was certain that either one would be the only meal I would digest for that day. I wasn't hungry anymore. Food did not occupy not one thought in my mind, and instead of feeding myself I would cry non stop or contemplate on what to do with my life. My mind drew a blank when it came nourishing my body. It was as if I had completely forgotten to eat, and I did after a while.
My hazardous behavior towards food ended seven months ago, and now that I reminisce on my eating disorder I realize that I exploit it as a method to take control. I thought my life to be entirely out of order because I felt I was doing nothing productive or beneficial. During this time I also became depressed and believed to be a failure for two reasons; I did not have a job or was not attending college. I was convinced the only way I was capable of dominating my life once again was to take control of my eating habits, because it was the most tangible to me. Plus, dieting was not foreign to me because I witnessed my mom and aunties experience it on multiple occasions. I knew I could not obtain a job when ever I wanted because it was not in my power to hire myself, but reshaping my body was totally up to me. So it began, I first became obsessed with having the perfect body and then turned it into a goal I desperately wanted to accomplish.
In order for me to be in complete control I initially altered my thoughts concerning my body image, nourishment, and food. I assured myself I had gained weight which was the outcome of eating like a “pig”. Now every time I saw my reflection It was as if all my imperfections became inevitably obvious and lead me to be exceedingly self conscious of my body. One day I came to the conclusion that If I kept doing absolutely nothing with my day, and sitting on a couch the whole time, I would become fat. This was simply unacceptable to me because being fat implied looking atrocious and it was one of my biggest fears. I knew the only way to prevent being over weight was to go on a fasting diet or minimizing what I devoured. All of a sudden I felt fat and ugly, and the only way to cease these thoughts was to be skinny again, I assumed.
The next step to be utterly dominant of my eating patterns was to perceive food as my worst enemy, and so I did. Many were shocked, except for me, at the fact that I thought of food as a threat and not an essential need . My initial reaction after alimenting myself was to feel guilty. When I “over” eat all I wanted was to puke everything my body had taken in, but fortunately never got to that extreme. I exaggeratedly analyzed everything I eat and instead of considering the taste of it I solely cared about the calories and amount of fat. Before devouring something I pictured how it would impact my body image and then decided to eat it or not. It never came across my mind that an eating disorder was maturing because I believed to be perfectly fine. All that lured in my mind were ideas of control. I thought what I needed the most was control over my life to be content again. I never accepted the fact that I suffered from anorexia because I was always in denial.
It was not the fact that I almost weighed 100 lbs or had no curves left what triggered me to abandon my control mania along with my eating disorder, but that I got my life back together again. After four months of exposing myself to harmful diets I finally snagged a teller position at the US Bank and enrolled in college. If it were not for these two accomplishments I’m sure I would most definitely be in the fatal stages of anorexia. I never recognized the dramatic changes my body underwent until I properly started alimenting my body and gained all the weight I lost. It was a huge wake up call for me because I sincerely thought nothing was wrong with me. Today I can openly recognize that I was anorexic.
What do women want from men? While I was contemplating this question I realized that we expect very simple and obvious things from men. The number one thing that we want is without a doubt respect. If men don't treat us with respect than they don't appreciate or value us in any way. If we are not respected it can really damage our self esteem and eventually our physical health. We can become victims of domestic violence if our partner has absolutely no respect for us.The number two quality that we want in a man is romance. Lady's, we need to be reminded how much our guy truly loves and cares for us every day. They don't have to give us extravagant gifts to show their love, because it can be a matter of gestures too. Holding hands is an awesome way to demonstrate to her that you care and also a sign of togetherness. We love it when men give us affection, especially in public. If they kiss us in front of their parents it signifies that they are not ashamed of what they feel and who they're with. Instead it represents that men are extremely proud of the girl they brought home to mom and dad because she's perfect. I can't stress enough how crucial romance is to keep the spark alive because if it's non existent you're relationship slowly fades away. Holding hands, kissing, and hugging are not a big sacrifice at all.The next quality that we look for is honesty. Some guys, or maybe all of them, promise us the moon and stars to make us fall into their arms. When we recognize that they're complete liars it's too late because we have believed everything. Untruthfulness is cruel because it plays with our feelings and hurts us deeply. We want someone that is sincere so we can be able to trust them. Even if, sometimes, the truth is harsh we need to hear it. So there you have them, the three most essential qualities that our man needs to have. Guys please take notes.
